There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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