How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
