Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
