wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
