you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
