do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He? As in you personified your dick?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
