Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is the high leading the old right now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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