so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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