I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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