Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
