dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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