if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
