I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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