Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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