I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
