I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
