I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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