I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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