Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
