oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize