Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
