i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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