There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
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i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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