Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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