the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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