I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize