I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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