Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
