Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
