So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
