Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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