i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
