oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
