Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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