ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
