wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
