just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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