I accidentally had phone sex last night
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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