I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
