I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize