you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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