I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize