I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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