I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize