And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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