This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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