God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
