and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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