He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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