dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
