she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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