he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
