The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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