Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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