did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
