somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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