Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
